Relationship myths are commonly believed, and they end up hurting your relationships. For a relationship to really work, it is important to differentiate the myths from reality.
Relationship experts explain the different myths that are commonly believed and debunk them;
1. The Butterfly Feeling
One of the most notorious relationship myths is if you don’t feel butterflies, your relationship is missing romance. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, people tend to think there is something wrong if things feel too calm or easy. However, feeling at peace with a partner is a very good sign. We often don’t realize that the butterfly feeling may actually be a result of anxiety or uneasiness. Not all butterflies are bad, but they aren’t necessary for a healthy relationship.
Kristina Persson is a dating and relationship coach located in NYC. She helps millennial women raise their standards and ditch hookup culture so they can meet men who are serious about dating.
2. Sleeping In Separate Beds or Rooms
Sleeping in separate beds or even rooms is normal, as is sleeping together. The fact is that some people are hypersensitive, the slightest sounds or movements, including crawling, dozing, or involuntary movements of a partner, can wake them up. Waking up suddenly in the middle of the night, they find it difficult to fall asleep again. As a result, in the morning they have low energy and feel unwell.
Some of the partners like to sleep when the room is hot, while others like to sleep in cool conditions. Sleep is primarily about comfort and energy recovery, so the furnishings should be as comfortable as possible; otherwise, it will negatively affect the psycho-emotional state of the individual. It is worth emphasizing that the way you sleep does not affect the relationship. Healthy unions are built on respect for each other, listening to partners’ needs, and sharing responsibility, but not in a shared bed.
Natalie Maximets, Certified Life Transformation Coach & Writer at Online Divorce
3. If A Couple Loves One Other, They Are Aware Of Their Needs And Emotions
Fact: Expecting your spouse to be able to read your thoughts is a set-up because that’s precisely what you’re doing when you expect your partner to know what you want. We acquire this expectation as children, but it is our responsibility as adults to communicate our emotions and needs.
And if your spouse listens to your remarks is a better indicator of the strength of your relationship after you’ve expressed your wants and emotions.
Jennifer Foster, Managing Editor, and Career/Life/Relationship Coach, Authority Astrology
4. If You’re Really In Love, You’ll Never Lose Your Passion
Fact: We think that if we love someone, the passion, urging, and adoration would never disappear because of movies and romance books. If they vanish, “it must not be the appropriate connection, or our relationship must be in danger”, they reason. Passion, on the other hand, fades with time in all relationships. One of the causes is the daily routine. Couples have less and less time and energy for each other as their duties and tasks increase.
However, this does not imply that the passion has vanished forever. You can increase your enthusiasm with a bit of forethought and a dash of whimsy. Many of the partnerships I observe have a strong sense of passion—passionate sex results from long-term emotional closeness combined with a feeling of adventure, exploration, and fun.
I stress how important it is for couples to do new activities to keep their relationships fresh. When it comes to routines that stifle romance, I recommend that couples ask themselves, How can we control our lives enough so that we can make time for each other while still having energy left over?
Curtis Lawson, Managing Editor Project Gunner
5. Sharing Bathrooms
Separate bathrooms can be key. Most people believe a couple should share everything – from a bed to a closet and a bathroom. If you’re in a healthy relationship, that’s not necessary at all. In fact, some even encourage having some separate spaces so that both of you can be fresh-minded.
A lot of my clients rave about how it helps them avoid unnecessary petty fights and keeps them sane. After all, you are your own person at the end of the day – so it’s okay to want to maintain some things the way you like them to. Relationships don’t mean the end of your privacy!
6. Talking 24/7
You don’t need to talk 24/7. You’re not in middle school anymore, where you needed your partner’s undivided attention and texted all day long. Life happens, and it’s tough – on everyone. It’s perfectly okay if you and your partner don’t talk constantly – it doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you; it just means they have a life of their own. Family, work, academics, social life, errands, and so much more are on the line daily, so don’t feel guilty if you divide your attention between priorities.
He doesn’t need to get you flowers every day. I know it’s the little things that count – but not in the same category. Understand your partner’s love language, and try to imitate theirs whilst they try to follow yours. It might be tough at first if you both have differing views, but patience and perseverance go a long way in a budding, healthy relationship.
Sameera Sullivan, Relationship Expert