Dating is an art and a science in itself. Complicated as dating gets, singles and couples are always looking for advice on avoiding related disasters. You should never need to settle or feel trapped in a bad relationship just because you didn’t know which signs to look out for. Talking to relationship experts, we put together all their advice and tips on dating and what to look for when you’re dating.
Make A List Of The Top 10 Qualities
What to look for? Before you start dating, make a list of the top 10 qualities you want in a partner and the top ten qualities you don’t want in a partner. Be specific. By writing this list, you will start to focus on these traits in the person you naturally meet online or in person. Everyone is a bit different, but I suggest that you include the following traits on your list: independence, emotional maturity, peace, and trustworthiness.
Signs that you are with the right person: I think the biggest mistake people often make when dating is trying to force someone into their lives that doesn’t want to be there. When you find the right person, the relationship will experience less drama, less conflict, less friction. There will always be some bumps along the way, but mostly you will have fun and feel good with them.
They will make an effort to see you and get to know you. They will respect your values and boundaries. They will follow through with their promises. They will make you a priority. The right person will fit more smoothly into your life.
Christopher Kokoski, Relationship Expert at RelationshipFire.com
They’ll Comfort You When You’re Sad
You’ll know that person is right for you if you feel free to share with them your discomfort, worries, and sadness. The right person will be compassionate, they’ll try to understand you, and offer help. The right person will do their best to understand what you’re feeling and where you’re coming from, and they’ll offer their chest and shoulder to cry on whenever you need it. With the right person, you’ll feel safer and better just with a small hug. The right person will make life seem better even with their close proximity.
The Right Person Will Cherish Your Integrity
The right person will never want to change you from the core. The right person will appreciate you as you are, and try to compromise with you. The right person won’t make you go outside of your comfort zone and make you bend your “non-negotiables”. They’ll respect your integrity and love all of you.
Nikolina Jeric, Founder 2Date4Love.com
Communication is Key
As someone who’s dated a wide range of men both in the military and civilians living in Nashville, TN, I feel like I have a good stand on what to look out for when meeting the “right” person. Communication is key in every relationship and if the initial conversations on the first date are even slightly forced, I recommend moving on to the next date. There’s something about an easy flow of conversations that click with two people who are highly compatible.
Another big sign to look out for to know you are with the right person is the way they carry themselves as an individual and if they check a large number of your boxes in the “right person”.
Nahyun Barbuto, Founder of Lifting Motherhood
They Do Not Hold You Back or Stand In Your Way
When dating, a partner who does not hold you back or stand in the way of achieving your dreams is the right one. This person is genuinely excited about your success or progress and will not harbor ill will or feel the need to sabotage you. They will motivate, help, and even push you to achieve a particular goal whenever they can.
Katherine Brown, the Founder & Marketing Director Spyic
Consider Their Mindset And Perspective
As a relationship expert, I believe that there are no constant or fixed criteria in finding the right person. To know if the one you are dating is finally the right one, the first thing to consider is the mindset and perspective. You don’t need to have the same but what’s important is respect to what each of you thinks about life.
Also, check on their principles in life because that is very important especially if you plan to proceed to the next level of dating.
Sonya Schwartz, Founder of Her Norm
Provides Peace of Mind
Dating is a type of activity that involves two people who share feelings, but how can you tell if they are the right person to date? As a relationship expert, I believe that peace of mind is an indication that you’ve found the proper partner. This one thing has a significant impact on a person’s life.
Not everyone can provide peace of mind, but it is the nicest feeling when your partner does. It implies that your lover cares about your well-being.
Michelle Devani, Founder of lovedevani
There is Peace and Love
You can say that you are in the right relationship when you are with the right person. And as a relationship expert- you will know that you are with the right one; when things are happening to you, even in sad or happy moments, there is peace and love. It may sound magical, but it is true, there is a different feeling even if you don’t intentionally do things to feel it.
In addition, a great relationship doesn’t hold you back, if there are things that you want to do, you are not bound by the relationship because there is trust, which is vital in a relationship.
Samantha Moss, Editor & Content Ambassador Romantific
You Can Comfortably Be Yourself Around Them
Everyone wants to find “the one” and be with the right person. But how exactly can you know if you have found the perfect partner for you? As a relationship expert, one of the signs that you are dating the right person is that you can comfortably be yourself around them.
There will always be differences between you and your partner. But when they respect these differences and love you for who you are, and when you do not feel the need to change yourself for them, then this is a sign that you found the one for you.
April Maccario, Founder at AskApril
Are your dating goals in alignment with the person you’re seeing? What are YOU looking for (i.e. casual hookup, FWB, a monogamous, long-term relationship, marriage, and/or kids)? If your partner’s goals are the polar opposite or if they don’t really have an idea of what they want, those are crucial in helping you determine whether to keep dating or if it’s better to cut your losses before too much time and emotions become invested.
Being with someone who understands your love language in a relationship (and vice-versa) is a wonderful way to ensure compatibility and decrease any painful bumps in the road or extreme learning curves. Having someone who knows what you respond positively and negatively to help to avoid miscommunication, passive-aggressive behavior, and crossed signals.
Is the person you’re dating someone who has always been in long-term, monogamous relationships, or have they constantly been in and out of one entanglement or another? Has their longest relationship only been one year or 6 months?
A person’s dating history and any themes you might find woven throughout could be a window into what a relationship with them may look like. This is where those red flags and gut instincts are especially important to be attuned to.
Does Everything Flow Naturally or Is It Like Pulling Teeth?
You should not and cannot change someone so if they accept you as you are (imperfect and all) and if you can do the same, couple that with strong communication and chances are, you’re paired with someone who truly enjoys you, what the two of you have and isn’t in a mindset of self-sabotage whenever they think something is too good to be true.
When your partner is secure in themselves, it will be evident in your relationship where trust is concerned. Petty squabbles, trust issues, and feeling like you’re being interrogated instead of talking like two adults would be a waste of time, energy, and effort. A relationship should be about growing together, not doing constant damage control.
Priorities & Consistency
If the person you’re dating makes an effort to make time for you and has proven to be reliable and consistent, this is a great sign that they’re serious about being part of your life. Even with busy schedules, it isn’t difficult to tell when someone does what they can to show you that spending time with you — in whatever capacity (i.e. Facetime, a phone call, or a text just to say they’re thinking of you) — is a priority to them, and that’s always a positive sign.
Understanding what you want out of your dating life and the goals you’re aiming for will make it much easier to see who is compatible — and who really isn’t right for you.